Happy New Year!

I just wanted to say a quick Happy New Year! I hope everyone had fun and had way too much to drink. I got to watch Sly blow fireworks up for almost two and a half hours, got to see Donalds friend Aaron puke on the front lawn (because Donald punched him in the gut, not once but twice), and Paul got to Moms house 15 seconds before the ball dropped. I don't know how he folded time and space to do it, but he did.

Anyhoo, back to figuring out what I want to do in school. I have an interview tomorrow at Home Depot, wish me luck!

Happy Holidays!

I can not believe that it's already Christmas time, heh. Then again, it always seems to sneak up on me, it just seems like this year flew by.

Above and beyond time flying by, I had to change my major *again* at Trident Technical College, because they completely changed my graphic arts major. They took away all the Adobe classes I had taken, and all the Macromedia courses away. They also added about 5 CAD courses, and I have no interest in building Planes, buildings or cars. So, all in all, I'd be in school for another three semesters, at least, trying to get those to be where I was before they changed the major. Oh well, I guess that's what I get for going to a community college. Because of all this BS I changed my major to Veterinary Technology and Horticulture. There are some issues around this, seeing that all the vet tech classes are on Berkeley campus, and all the horticulture classes are on Main campus, which are about an hours drive apart. So, I'll end up focusing more on the vet tech then horticulture. I'm really excited about it though, vet tech is something I've wanted to do since I was a very small child, I love animals, and the only reason I didn't do that from the get go is because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle it mentally. I don't really want a job that I would come home crying from every night, but I've done some volunteering and all went well, so hopefully it won't be an issue.

Because of this change in major and all that crap, I'm looking for a new job in that field. It isn't going great quite yet, but I have to have 20 hours volunteer time or work time before I can start the vet tech classes, which won't happen until fall of '07, I have to get a few pre-reqs out of the way. So it's not crunch time just yet, but I'd like to go ahead and start looking for a few reasons, mostly to get in that environment and make sure I can do it before I totally commit to these classes.

That's about it for changes, I just have to stay in school, because of the insurance and all. I don't think I'll be getting a webpage until after Christmas, money always gets tight this time of year.

I think I'll leave ya with some pictures (shocking, I know). ;)

Gabriel and Sly hangin out on the couch

Leandra in my wreath-to-be

This is us at the Ren Faire. Starting left to right, it's Danny, Mom, Sly, me and Jamie

This is Llewella, we got her while we were at the Ren Faire. She's so cute!

This is Harley laying ON Llewella

We had to shave poor Harley, she was just too matted. She's got some HUGE ears!

Guess who's here!

I got my first Angora rabbit last night. She's adorable, she's very curious about the cats, loves throwing her combs around and nibbling on clothing. The cats are pretty good, but they don't really understand what she is. They keep giving me these "Mom, what kind of cat is THAT?!" looks. We've decided to call her Harley Quinn because of the black mask on her face.

I guess she's comfy

You can't seeee me!

Look at the ears on that thing! Sheesh!

She doesn't seem to like her water bottles but is very happy with this bowl (when I tried to take it to refill it she bit it)Caroline giving me one of those looks

I found out today they're going to let me volunteer at our local pet shelter, I'm very excited. :) I'm not sure how it's going to go yet, if I come home crying, I won't go back. I wish Sly was a little more encouraging, but I guess that's his way. He isn't overly encouraging, ever.

and a cute picture of Sophia

almost like legos

Is... Is that a light at the end of the tunnel? They've up'd my dose of zoloft (which is giving me the shakes, but I'm not crazy), put me on a different sleeping med. And I'll be damned if I'm not crazy anymore. Whoda thunkt it? Ok... Let's be honest. I'm not totally back to "me", but shit certainly seems a lot better then it was, so I'm not complaining. I'm not the crying type, I hate that shit, so any better is good for me.

Though, the sleepy meds have been making me kinda.... stupid? Yes, we'll say stupid and forgetful. I've lost glasses, keys, and my ass if it wasn't attached so many times in the past few days, it's crazy. I've been on my birth control patch for TWO fucking years now, and forgot it today, go me. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate condoms? I guess poor Sly will go without until I get one, 'cause no beebees for me.

(Sorry for any missing words, I seem to be doing that a lot. I'm sure you'll piece it together)

Today has been a good day. I got a job today, and I got into the online class I wanted to be in. :) I'll be working at AC Moore a couple days a week, only about 12 hours total, which is fine by me. They offered me a job working about 38-40 but I don't really want to work that much, 'specially on days I have school.

And getting into this online class means I don't have to sit through that teacher anymore. Thank God! I can't even describe how much this chick got on my nerves. I could be here all night listening things I didn't like about her and I *dreaded* going back on Tuesday. But now I don't have to, yay! *dancesdances* WooWooWoo!

losing myself?

I made it through the rain that was supposed to be a tropical storm, yes, I did. My cats didn't die, we didn't get hit by some god awful tornado, I didn't lose all my family, etc. All my fears were... unfounded? I don't know. All I know is I spent my Tuesday crying, all day. Why, you ask? Because I left my cats in the trailer were I live, and I was convinced when I left I would never see them again.

I got back to my house Wednesday night, after we were sure it was passing us by, after we went to walmart to get food. And I'm standing there in the shower when it dawns on me that I've lost all ability to cope, I've become completely codependent. What else would all this crying and not being alone mean? 'When did this happen? Who is this person?', I stood there asking myself. This isn't me, I'm a stronger person then this, I was raised to be a stronger person, *I'm* the one that doesn't break down when everyone else does. I think it started to hit me when Michael was telling me this Tuesday. Fear is something new to me, I've always had the out look 'if it's going to happen, if it's my time, it will happen no matter what precaution I take, so why worry?' I don't know when it started, whether it was the drugs, turning 20, who knows, but it's got to stop. It's got to stop now.